Am i still alive ( Wed of wk 50)

Haiz... just wondering... had been thinking abt this... am i still alive?? just feel tat i am just a walking human tat dun really live... i am just living in a routine.. no life lor... haiz... i wan to do something i wan to learn things.. i dun wan to live my life this way lor.. i hated my job.. i hated the people here lor.. i hated it lor....hated it hated it.. i am just wasting my life away lor.. haiz..

WHY why why why why??

why my life is like tat?? i know i know that my life is in my hand.. it all depend on how i lead my life but i am really really lost.. i dunno wat i wan to do.. i really dunno.. i regret and hated myself.. why i didn't take opportunity.. haiz.. i know no use to blame myself all tat but i really v v sad..... haiz... so trouble lor....

always tell yrself.. tml is a brand new day..^@^